i often find myself lost in thought and not present.
i was talking with my friend, izzy, and i had brought up emotions. she studies phycology and told me that “emotions only last for a minute before your brain feeds into them.” and that made me think about my happiness in my life.
i had explained to her how i split happiness into many different words, so its hard to pinpoint moments. i drifted into memory and thought of significant moments in the past week.
today was canada day so i was at my cousins. we watched youtube, all my old favourite youtubers. i guess you could call that happiness, i was smiling and laughing, but i found myself thinking more than anything.
or a week ago to my dress rehearsal. i had danced with hannah for the last time before the birthday. i guess most of the time i was giggly, but i was thinking about the next step in the dance or where to look.
after we went to jollibee and we all ate. they were all talking and i stayed quiet in my own place eating, observing, and listening.
its rare i find myself in groups where im not the odd one out - some guy added in later. i was thinking about that there too, which further adds to my lost in thought idea.
my school friends were in friendgroups before i was in them, sometimes i feel like the odd one out. but im still thankful i can be around them.
that reminds me of a happy moment, hanging out with mustafa. we watched youtube and played gta together, that was very fun.
i guess my life isnt so sad, and i know this started of very edgy. i am very happy.